Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
