if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
