So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
