i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
