apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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