She is in my trunk
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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