So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
