when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
