absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
