So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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