the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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