Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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