i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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