Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
