so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
ttyl tear gas
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Bring me that man meat
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
