u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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