so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
3pm strippers are depressing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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