i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
as a side note pls kill me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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