We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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