On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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