Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd itβs still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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