i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
