is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
porn star boner night. come get it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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