home. puking in laundry basket.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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