My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
