i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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