im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm at about main and main street
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
