Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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