so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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