Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
