Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
