trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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