The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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