i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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