We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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