on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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