Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
