It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
