I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
