How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
