Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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