I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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