chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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