38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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