he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
