There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
