Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
