Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
