Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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