it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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