Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
