I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
